Evolution: The Secrets of Prostitution

03Jan08

monkey.jpgI read this article on Yahoo today and I am sure we could get a great discussion going on this again. Just like last month over here.

Here is a qoute from the article,

“Selling sex is said to be humankind’s oldest profession but it may have deep evolutionary roots, according to a study into our primate cousins which found that male macaques pay for intercourse by using grooming as a currency.”

So what they have found is that in researching this groups of monkey’s they see the males grooming the females to “get” sex. Very interesting. In other words, for male humans, we would be required to offer make up and hair care techniques before we could “mate”. First of all, I am not sure what woman would really want our opinion or hair care help. Second, I am not sure how this really works into man’s “romance” techniques…

I thought it was interesting as well, that the monkeys understood marketing.

“If there were several females in the area, the cost of buying sex would drop dramatically — a male could “buy” a female for just eight minutes of nit-picking. But if there were no females around, he would have to groom for up to 16 minutes before sex was offered.”

The law of supply and demand…very funny.

Then this stood out to me.

“On average, females had sex 1.5 times per hour. But this rate jumped to 3.5 times per hour immediately after the female had been groomed by a male.”

So the key to frequent “mating” is grooming. Again evolution has given us a wonderful nugget of truth. Heck, what guy wouldn’t want to take advantage of this kind of info πŸ™‚

I am curious about a couple of things. Why is evolution always brought up in this? Maybe this is just a mating trait of monkeys.Β  Are humans interested in sex only because of animal instincts? I am not sure that

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69 Responses to “Evolution: The Secrets of Prostitution”

  1. 1 tam

    Oh Boy! Where DO I begin!

    1 – lets start with men grooming THEMSELVES! Much more helpful to present yourself picked clean than to pick us clean…we’ve got that covered, thank you. The odds will rest slightly more in your favor if you groom yourself πŸ˜€

    2 – ALL animal creatures have mating calls and techniques. HUMANS do as well. Some are monkeys about it and oddly enough it works for them. But I see nothing in common with us and that study. Guys are more likely to wash dishes or help pick up around the house as a mating call than they are to pluck their wives eyebrows for them.

    3 – Dude, if you even DARE try to start grooming me I’ll fling some monkey stuff on ya! Get up off my hair!

  2. Who Flung Poo….

    Hahahahahahaha!!!!

  3. I do keep finding new grooming products showing up in MY bathroom. And they’re definitely not for me…

    hmmm…

  4. “if you have any poo fling it now” LOL
    sorry couldn’t resist! I read that same article today and have been laughing ever since…all animals mate…even my dog will give another flirty eyes when she is in heat…and they come from all over the nieghbor hood to do their bidding…well I think not so she stays in!

    I agree with Tam, house work is a huge mating call…and definitely gets my attention! Fortunately my man is good at that..house work! πŸ™‚

  5. Housework? 😯 Monkey see monkey do, let’s all go and fling some poo!

  6. 6 tam

    Look at that poor monkey girl picture. I get the boy monkey strategy here…make her look like Mimi so that no other monkey boy will pick her fleas! Always an ulterior motive!

  7. 7 Brandy

    Okay I haven’t even read this yet, and probably won’t until tomorrow as it is LATE, but I just had to tell you that I sent that SAME picture to my mom b/c I thought it looked EXACTLY like my dads mom and I said “Who does this monkey make you think of?” and she replied back “Your dads mom”

    Seriously. It’s scary.

  8. I find it interesting that the stereotypical male hairdresser is usually the last person who is interested in having sex with his female customers. Not that there’s anything wrong with that….

    Of course Warren Beatty in “Shampoo” kind of broke this mold and I once had a fairly closer friend who was decidedly heterosexual that worked as a very successful hair stylist in between gigs as a deep sea salvage diver and construction worker. Perhaps he was evolving as well?

    I’ll fling some monkey stuff on ya!

    There she goes again. I’m gettin’ worried.

  9. 9 Amy

    I’m going to have to “ditto” Tammy’s comments. That poor monkey looks like one of my great aunts who complained for quite awhile about getting no love from the male persuasion. Yikes…

  10. You guys are cracking me up!

    Christian – I am ashamed to say I had the same thought, just glad you mentioned it first πŸ™‚

  11. Yeah, grooming isn’t the ticket for most females I would bet. In fact when my hubby leans in to fix a showing bra strap or stray hair, I want to slap his hand. I left those things there b/c I want them there…either that or I’ll get them later! Although my husband’s a very sexy guy….he goes up in the lucky category when he starts to clean house or do the laundry. That’s what most hard working women appreciate…is some support around the house from time to time. Any other women with me???

  12. “he goes up in the lucky category when he starts to clean house or do the laundry.”

    HA!!! It can help!

    Blessed1, did you ever see The Break Up? She tells her boyfriend she just “wants him to want to help” to which he replies, “why would I WANT to help”. Most guys don’t get it. They only help out because they have ulterior motives – we just want their hand because it’s HELPFUL.

  13. Oh my gosh this is hysterical. I was just posting about something similar. Thanks Tam for cluing me into this post. Now as for grooming…do foot massages count as grooming? Hmm. I’m not sure about the nit-picking. Although, if I did have nits to pick, I think I’d prefer my husband do it and not some outsider.

  14. “I think I’d prefer my husband do it and not some outsider”

    Good point Joni! That made me laugh out loud – very funny!

  15. So, when we see monkey’s cleaning up more, we will be finding better clues to the evolution process πŸ™‚

    I think that’s what I am getting here.

    Or maybe evolution has done us good, because more men are cleaning up now than monkey’s ever did. Of course some of us have a long way to go…

    Thanks for stopping by Joni πŸ™‚

  16. Wow, I just saw some of these in Vegas! And I do think they were selling sex……there wasn’t much grooming going on….pretty sad actually. I’m brain dead….I’ll write tomorrow….I’m off to groom…. πŸ˜‰

  17. I….

    Well…

    You see…

    Screw It!!!

    Sometimes I think scientists have WAY too much time on their hands! And this is coming from someone who fully accepts the tenets of evolution!

    There are some scientific articles I really just can’t be bothered to read.

    R

  18. Hey Deb, welcome home. anxious to hear about your trip.

    Robert, I was hoping you’d stop by. I’m with you on this one. This just cracked me up.

    I still appreciate the conversation we had earlier on the other post though. Great to hear from you.

  19. R – You are too funny!

  20. Who needs a drink!?

    I’ve been spending way too much time at home with th kids!

    I am going to recommend my wife for Congressional Medal of Honor for dealing with these monkeys ALL day EVERY day!

    R

  21. Monkey’s maybe…but we know for sure they aren’t chimpanzees πŸ™‚

  22. Hi B….I’ve read through this a couple times now….
    What is the question? It’s looks like you were still writing in your last sentence…just curious what you were going to write.

  23. Hey GG, that is really weird! I just noticed that now. And it’s been long enough since I posted that I have NO idea what I was going to say. Oh well.

    Anyone want to take a stab at filling int he missing words? this could be fun πŸ™‚

  24. welcome to my world

    😯

  25. “I am not sure that….sex is should be such a big deal, anyway. It’s just a means of keeping the women off our backs.” (?)

  26. Christian…are you a woman?

    πŸ™‚

  27. Recently I have been much more in touch with my feminine side. And since you ask I must admit that I actually am half woman. Afterall, one of my parents was one.

    But I was only trying to get a rise out of Tam and her Church Ladies.

  28. And my “Church ladies”? You just made me laugh C! Good one! Besides….you won’t get a “rise” out of a lady πŸ˜‰

    We’re finishing the sentence for B, right???

    “I am not sure that…I am all that interested in sex anyways. It’s way over rated. Eating bananas while getting a pedi is much more ap”peal”ing.”

    Wha?!

  29. Any opinions expressed on this blog are purely those of the expresser. I in no way take responsibility for said opinions…

  30. Bananas? This might be some of that ‘fruitful’ entertainment that Deb suggested over on my site?
    Most real men aren’t crazy about pedicures, though. You would not believe how LONG my toe nails have gotten lately. See what happens when you lose your Daytimer? (Of course it’s not how long they get that counts, right?)

  31. 31 Jason

    can someone send me a flow chart for this?

  32. You’re right Christian, the possiblities are endless are they not? πŸ˜‰ Oh, and uh, you’re lucky we live several states from eachother after that remark….LOL

    ” Are humans interested in sex only because of animal instincts? I am not sure that belly slapping would be so much fun if that were true….. 😯

  33. Jason…Welcome back friend!

    You guys know that website that gives your blog a rating like the movies. I think I’ve just gone from PG to PG-13…

  34. Rated “PG” – Perverted Gorilla?

    C, did you just equate toe nail length to….? You aren’t human. But my old trailer park friends would have fun with that one!

  35. “(Of course it’s not how long they get that counts, right?)”

    Are we suppose to agree with this statement????? Sorry…..

  36. “Are we suppose to agree with this statement????? Sorry…..”

    If it makes them feel better…yes. ANYTHING to get them to take out the garbage!

  37. I remember Pastor Tom’s example during the “sex series” at church.

    How do you welcome a Woman to the marriage bed?
    You appreciate her
    You encourage her
    You notice her
    You caress her
    You kiss her
    etc, etc, etc

    How do you welcome a Man to the marriage bed?
    Show up naked…

  38. ummmmm….
    I think everything that was in my head has been said.
    You crack me up.

  39. Naked. In candle light – most flattering lighting.

    Naked. Hanging upside down – defies gravity.

    Fierce!

  40. “I think everything that was in my head has been said.”

    Holy Cow!!! All this was in your head???

    Therapeeeee….

    πŸ˜€

  41. Fierce ?!?!

    That’s funny…I don’t know why.

    AND it has NOTHING to do with you being naked…

  42. Sorry Tam, I have to disagree with the candle light….Shadow pictures are scary….no bunnies or butterflies here…sigh

  43. Well this isn’t the first blog I’ve said this on (for some reason) but I look like a crime scene naked. So….if romantic candlelight happens to cast a shadow of forensic findings then at least the focus will be on the wall and not me πŸ˜€

  44. 44 Momma Jen

    Okay, I’m probably going to have nightmares from the monkey at the top of your blog – that’s SOOO wrong in SOOO many ways!
    This post has been quite entertaining – I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time! In fact, I’m still chuckling…

  45. Glad you enjoyed Momma Jen…hopefully you’ll still keep attending Table Rock even after all the craziness here πŸ™‚

  46. That’s true Tam…uh not that you look like a crime scene…but I suppose that my shadow would be more “hills and valleys” sounds scriptural somehow….LOL πŸ˜€

  47. Somehow I don’t think David was singing about Naked Butterflies…

  48. About that picture…I’ve been meaning to ask you where you found a photo of my aunt Rose.

    Sheesh!

  49. I am shocked at how this pictures reminds people of so many family members.

    Or, wasn’t that kind of the point of the news article πŸ™‚

  50. 50 Momma Jen

    Are you kidding me?! That’s WHY I attend TRF – I fit in so well! πŸ™‚
    Tam – I thought about inviting you to coffee… but I’m a little worried about the “flinging poo”… πŸ˜‰

  51. Oh, no worries Momma. I don’t fling poo unless you start grooming me. i think you’re safe.

    Did you say coffee???

    πŸ˜€

  52. 52 Ed

    “I am curious about a couple of things. Why is evolution always brought up in this? Maybe this is just a mating trait of monkeys. Are humans interested in sex only because of animal instincts?”

    Sex can certainly make a monkey out of most of us. πŸ™‚

    If you believe in current evolutionary theory than humans and monkeys have a common ancestor.

    Some scientist think they can learn about human behavior by studying our primate cousins.

    Of course the human brain is far more complex(?) than the brains of other animals.

    From Wikipedia:

    During encephalization, human brain mass increased beyond that of other species relative to body mass. This process was especially pronounced in the neocortex, a section of the brain involved with language and consciousness. The neocortex accounts for about 76% of the mass of the human brain;[4] with a neocortex much larger than other animals

    I think this means our sexual behavior is far more complicated than that of other primates. Of course looking at a teenage boy some may disagree. πŸ™‚

    “So the key to frequent β€œmating” is grooming”. I knew there must be some explanation for mullets. πŸ™‚

    If you believe in God you believe he created the world and all the creatures in it including man.

    If you don’t believe in God you use science to understand humans and our behavior. Evolution is the best idea that fits the evidence to explain who we are and why we behave the way we do.

    Although I doubt anyone can explain Britney Spears :).

  53. “β€œSo the key to frequent β€œmating” is grooming”. I knew there must be some explanation for mullets.”

    The mullet did nothing for the “mating department”

    Trust me.

  54. 54 Jason

    “Although I doubt anyone can explain Britney Spears”

    Eugenics

  55. If there was one example that could prove to me the existence of a God that is ACTIVE in our world….

    It would be….

    JESSICA ALBA!

    R

  56. Ed, when God created mullets He said it was good…or was that light? I can’t remember πŸ™‚

    Robert, I can also say the same thing about my wife πŸ™‚

  57. Brent said:

    “Robert, I can also say the same thing about my wife :)”

    You’re just saying that because she’s watching!!! πŸ˜›

    πŸ˜€

    R

  58. Always watching…

    😈

  59. I heard that the bunny trails were here! I am surprised that grooming and poo are still a topic….

  60. First of all, Nice picture…That poor innocent monkey. πŸ™‚
    Secondly, my husband watches all those animal/nature shows and every single animal has wierd, intresting, odd traits…Don’t you wish these people had something better to do with their time and thoughts? Quit linking us to monkeys.

  61. Darla – I would have to say there are numerous Bunny “droppings” in this post πŸ™‚

    Hey Elaine – I would love to see a study where they do the reverse. They study humans to find out if we can understand the monkey psyche better πŸ™‚

    Robert, maybe you know of some reverse studies. that would be fun to read about.

  62. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!!!!

    k, well, this is HYSTERICAL!!!!

    but, don’t forget about the fact that in a LOT of species (birds, for example) the MALE is the more ornate and better looking of the two genders.
    peacocks.
    cardinals.
    bluejays.

    anyway, evolutionarily speaking, i think things got mixed up somewhere in the chain and now its us ladies that have to make sure we’re looking good.

    sigh.

    wish y’all had to deal with makeup and curling irons and girdles and heels and products and products and MORE products.

  63. Mandy, We don’t “have” to look good..we just care more! πŸ˜€

    Once the man conquers and captures his woman – he’s downhill from there. Of course except in the case of B and Drew!

  64. Mandy, you missed one…

    peacocks.
    cardinals.
    bluejays.
    and, Worship Leaders πŸ™‚

    tam…you just plain look good!

  65. Ornate: 1) Made in an intricate shape or decorated with complex patterns 2) using unusual words and complex constructions.

    Yep, he’s right Mandy, you missed one…Male Worship Leaders!

  66. male worship leaders.
    male band members.
    male tv preachers (oooohhh….did i just SAY that?!!!)
    male singers.
    oh, and any male featured on Ocean’s 11, 12, and/or 13.

    i think that about sums up the list from the human standpoint.
    πŸ˜‰

  67. Don’t forget Liberace? Or am I dating myself here, in front of all you young’uns.?

    (That sounds kinda weird, doesn’t it? Dating myself. Like, I take myself out to a dinner and movie. Afterwards I take myself home for drinks at my place. Well, one thing leads to another and before you know it….Hey! Anybody ever listened to Tom Waits?)

  68. This coming from a Bear in a Chefs Hat

    😯


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