The Mullet – Part 2 of 3


“But don’t tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
I just don’t think it’d understand
And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
He might blow up and kill this man
-Bill Ray Cyrus

Some may say, that this profound set of lyrics are what “killed” the Mullet. I beg to differ. Read them through again and take your time…

“But don’t tell my heart, my achy breaky heart”

There is obvious turmoil and tension here. Some say Billy was dealing with a relationship, others say hemorrhoids. No one can be for certain, but read on…

“I just don’t think it’d understand”

This is a definite poke at the “mainstream” fashion industry”. During this time there was the prevalence of bald woman and half naked men walking up and down long runways. We may be getting closer to the point here. I believe Billy was truly concerned for their well being. He knew something that they did not. Hair and some fat, could be a beautiful thing!

“And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart”

I’m not sure what he is saying here, I can’t make out the words…

“He might blow up and kill this man”

THERE IT IS! The power…the confidence…the majesty he speaks of…THE MULLET. It is widely considered that a properly conditioned mullet could truly kill a man. There was an incident back in 82′ that is not well known, but I won’t get into that here for the sake of the victims, who I am sure are still in distress. Can’t you see it though? Long flowing hair, shiny and clean, shaking to an fro as Billy plays his guitar(I think) and sings with passion. But wait there’s more.


See now Billy could have ended this chorus with killing a man. But that was too mediocre, not very powerful. What he did was take it a step farther and place an emotionally driven “Ooo” at the end. Can you just see it. Billy completing his song, standing in pride and facing the mirror. One look at that “party” in the back and “oooooooo”.

Enough said. this song is not the death of the Mullet, but instead a powerful statement of confirmation for what is and will always be, one of the most profound ways to wear your hair!

In honor of one of the greatest songs in history!

“Achy Breaky Heart”


29 Responses to “The Mullet – Part 2 of 3”

  1. you’ve GOT to be kidding me!

    What a perfectly bad use of blog space!

    I pray the Lord comes back before tomorrow…

  2. 2 Ed

    That was an ah ……. interesting take on what am I sure must be one of the great classics in American music history.

    I am told that Billy Ray’s daughter (Hannah Montana ?) can actually carry a tune.

    I can picture you and Tam line dancing to it.

  3. Tam – Thanks for the love sweety!

    Ed -My kids LOVE Hannah Montana, and she isn’t that bad šŸ™‚

  4. 4 brightshinyobject

    maybe the oooo is watchin it in slow motion with the guy who’s gettin kilt falling really slowly and in that low voice with slow motion..”‘nooooooooooooooooooooo”

  5. Do I feel a rousing rendition of the “Mullet Pride” song coming on?

    Don’t want to steal your thunder, but if you’re not going to bring up that song in part 3, then you could so easily expand this series to 4 parts and give us the “Mullet Pride” gold.

  6. Aaahh, that really puts the song in perspective for me. I love Tam’s comments, too. Feeling the love (and horror) that only a wife can give :-)!

  7. Kelly, Only another woman could appreciate my pain… Thank you friend!

  8. Jeff – Have patience my friend šŸ™‚

    Kelly and tam – What pain? didn’t you read my post. There is no pain!

  9. Nice Sermon, Rev!

    Can we get an AMEN! fo’da Mullet?

    A-MEN! – Hallelujah! šŸ™‚

    After putting us through THAT this photo better be DARN cute fella! šŸ˜‰

    Other great Mullet Songs…

    Mullet of Kintire
    Think It Over! (or mullet if you like?)
    I’m Mullet out of Love? ( Someone cut off my ‘Air Supply’ – what a magnificant Aussie duo of mullet and perm)

    I could go on and on – but you’re all probably barfing buckets by now so i’ll be merciful.


  10. someone say something about ‘no pain’???

    THAT’LL larn ’em!

  11. I am now experiencing some pain…thanks love šŸ™‚

  12. I’m here to ‘help’ šŸ˜‰

  13. “Iā€™m Mullet out of Love?”

    That was come clever stuff there Love!

    You get a whole 2 Big Points for that one!

    Very, very funny!

  14. Only 2? shoot! I was aiming for 3 (or should that be 10? those pesky dimensions just WON’T go away, lol)

    If i was clever enough i probably should have said:
    I’m Mull-et of Love

    poins deducted for bad grammar! šŸ™‚


  15. I think you are automatically free of any “grammer governing rules” if you choose to use the word mullet in a sentence.

  16. Oooohhh In WOR – Shiiiiiipp!

    I am finding myself humming ‘acky-breaky-Heart-woooo-OOO!” over and over at various times in the last hour or so –

    I may want to TALK to you about that some time!!!

    ( yes – i can actually remember who mentioned the ‘song’ here first – thank you!)

    I can still blame you for this, ya know?? šŸ˜‰

    I suspect i may not be ‘alone’!


  17. lol – or still wear one! šŸ˜‰

  18. This is all your fault šŸ˜‰

  19. Umm….. WHOM started the whole I’m-a-mullet-head-and -proud-of-it Thing Pray do tell?? Hmmmm
    ( smiles sweetly) šŸ™‚

    A little eyelash batting if you please Aunty Tam?

    Don’t tell ma…hmmm ahmmm ahmmmy hmm…

  20. Did I mention…. I think Yerrrr dethPICKable????

    ….ma bmmmy bhmmy hmm….

  21. 21 Nevin

    Here’s something to ponder. I hope that “Achy Breaky” isn’t truly the theme song for the mullet. Don’t we all think that a hair style of such pomp and circumcision deserves something better than a 3 chord country hack. It’s time to rally here people…

  22. “pomp and circumcision “???

    Don’t be too surprisd if not all that many men show up at your ‘rally’ Nev…

    You didn’t mean pomp and circumSTANCE by any chance?

    Lets all make a stance and not get cut down in our ‘pride’… ok? šŸ™‚


  23. 23 Nevin

    More like pompadore and circumstance. I kinda meant circumcision…

  24. Ohh Mullet!!… the Unkindest Cut of all! Gotcha now!;-)


  25. You guys are killing me!

    Nevin – I am sure there are better songs, but none quite as “deep” šŸ™‚

  26. I hope that you get around to doing a similar exegesis of “Honkeytonk Ba-Donk-A-Donk”

  27. I don’t know odgie, I might pull something if I strain to hard on that one…

  28. I just think that Brent is mourning the loss of his own mullet, how ever long ago it was, and we should should just be sensitive to his needs. I did wonder if “mullet” is pronounced muh-let in France or is it pronounced muh-lay?

  29. My guess is the French are too good for the Mullet…

    Amy, do you remember that thing? Come on now…really? Frightening!

    Now everyone has to see it tomorrow….

    Lord help us all – each and every one!

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